Course Corrections
These are the times that try men’s souls – at least those of the Geezer golfers. In late December the pro shops of the region promulgate the new membership rates for the coming year. As the weather turns cold in the southern Appalachian foothills, or as cold as it is going to get, we duffers, hackers, wheezers, and geezers wait impatiently to find out what a round of golf will cost us next year.
Now, lest you think this is a straightforward matter of pricing please think again – that is if you plan on doing a bit of comparison shopping. For, as was decreed by that legend of the golf world, the famous Frenchman Comte de Monee nothing is what it seems.
First, out of the three or four local courses that one may consider for the coming year one must first consider if any of them, from an individual point of view can be ruled out immediately as GU. That is Geographically Undesirable. I once used this term to apply to women to whom I was attracted but lived more than fifty miles away or required paying a toll to reach. Now, this means just how many traffic lights must I thread in order to reach the clubhouse. (With the massive influx of wide-eyed prospective homeowners in the region and the attendant reconstruction of several main arteries, GU designation is become increasingly meaningful.)
Atlanta, like in comparison to its stellar equivalent, the black hole, is pushing its version of an event horizon out into what was rural Georgia, and slowly sucking in everything to the core of its megalopolis never to see the light of open space again.
That said, once the Geezer Golfer (GG, for short) decides to compare the rates of competing courses, then it is time to get out the slide rules, or at least learn how to use Excel.
First, of the several course price lists offered, one must consider what calendar they are using. Is it January to December, December to January, March to February? Do they pro-rate the charges or as one local course will do charge a full year if you sign up mid-calendar.
Then there is the consideration of who do they define as a senior golfer (aka GG)? Is it age 55, 62, 65, or more? Beyond that there is the basic membership as quoted for full week, weekdays only, weekdays only (but not Friday), range only – which applies to you? Oh, and do you get unlimited range time as well as balls, or must you pay for balls each time. (If that is the case, then how many balls do you get in a bucket?)
Are you still with me? Because we are about to enter the realm of higher math so take a breath.
Before we go further you might want to calculate how many times per year you will be playing. This becomes important because as in real estate where the cost per square foot is the best comparison, the cost per round is the only valid number.
Let’s say you play an average of three times per week. That would be 156 times, but would you really? Vacations, doctor visits, bad weather (do you play if the temperature is below forty?) So, let’s say you play 100 times per year. (This will help with the math.)
Here are the basic rates for a weekday only golfer with full access to the range and unlimited balls. (Golf balls, not attitude.)
Annual membership:
Course A $1788 or $17.88 per round
Course B $1200 or $12.00 per round
Course C $989 or $9.89 per round
Seems easy, right? Ah, but we are not done. Now come the cart fees.
Course A $11 for a total of $28.88 per round
Course B $20 to $25 or from $32 to $37 per round
Course C $19 for a total of 28.89 per round
Of course, this is not the end to it. Though it is clear that course B is the costliest, does that mean it is the best course to play? As I learned in graduate school the two most useful answers in busines are ten percent or in this case it depends.
One must ask if any of these courses are more favorable to Geezers? Are the fairways flatter at one or another? How about the slopes along the out of bounds? How might my handicap change from one to another? If I can’t break 100 on Course A, will I do better on B or C? Now if we add in the wild card issues like what kind of golfers might one course attract? Will you end up playing with a Hannity clone or a stogie smoker? You need to consider your options here.
Then there is course maintenance, the number of playing days lost to golf outings or tournaments, the quality of practice areas, as well as how cute the cart girls are. This is where one is forced into a dilemma.
So, fellow Geezer tick, tick, tick. What will you do?
